It was really too bad that Romeo had heard the radio broadcast and gone to find Reno to ask about this military training session. It was worse yet that he found not just his friend, but a large and gleeful gremlin who took special joy in chomping both their ankles.

And it was awful, if thoughtful, of the island to give them matching skintight fire-and-ice themed ice-skating costumes and skates, which they took to the edge of the (randomly, inexplicably, let's not ask too many questions) frozen pond.

The worst thing of all, of course, might be that neither of them could skate in ordinary life.

Romeo	But for now, Chazz Michael Michaels took a deep breath as he laced up his skates. He could smell it: The musk of victory, sweetened with the sweat, tears, and panties of the adoring (if imaginary) crowd. He turned to Jimmy. "We gotta go out there, give it our best, and then give it more than our best, so our old best just gets left in the dust! You ready?"
Reno	From somewhere out in the imaginary crowd, Jimmy MacElroy was certain that he heard a wolf-whistle. This was hopeless. Two men, on the ice? "They're laughing at us." But he wasn't going to let the audience deter him from their victory... From showing the judges and the crowd was he was made of. He was bred for greatness! And so he nodded, putting his hands to his manly bosom as he waited for the music to start. The glitter on his cheek caught the light just-so. This number was going to be glorious.
Romeo	Chazz tossed his long, glorious manly hair (that in reality was of medium length and in his eyes) and took his place behind Jimmy. Arms up, hand on his hip -- hey, that (imaginary) blonde in the judges' stand had nice jugs, he'd like to show her a routine -- annnnd stretch, and they were ready to take off, as the imaginary strains of Aerosmith wafted toward them. "Let's kick some ice."
Reno	Jimmy gave Chazz a sideways glance that was intended to be skeptical, but it melted away into a look of agreement when he realized exactly how seriously his partner was taking this. This was their one shot. And that was why he was twining his fingers delicately between Chazz's, lifting his other arm gracefully into the air. Like a swan. He'd already done the peacock number before. I could stay awake, just to hear you breathin'...
Romeo	Watch you smile while you are sleeping Far away and dreaming ... And they were off, gliding across the ice in graceful circles to match the raw emotion in the song. Chazz Michael Michaels ate raw emotion for breakfast. He tossed a grin and a wink at that blonde, then took his position for Jimmy's first jump. In reality, of course, Romeo stumbled across the ice with his arms pinwheeling wildly.
Reno	It was the triple axel. It was going to be beautiful! It was going to be amazing. It was going to be... an amazing thing of beauty! Jimmy MacElroy reached out to grasp at the hands of his skating partner, every ounce of love and trust and truth and beauty that he contained within his soul pouring out in that one simple motion. 'Shall we dance,' the gesture seemed to insist. The crowd was watching with their breath held. Reno, of course, was actually taking baby steps on the ice, reaching out to grab at Romeo's hands so that he wouldn't end up sprawled on his ass.
Romeo	Chazz loved this moment when he and Jimmy joined hands and sailed across the ice, legs moving up into a scissors pose as they gracefully glided on one leg each. It was a rush better than sex. Better than bad sex, anyhow. Chazz nodded slightly, imperceptibly, signaling Jimmy to jump again so he could spin him into the upside-down carry. They were the best damn pairs team the world had ever seen. ... or, they were two tall, skinny 18-year-olds who skated like they were gravity's own personal bitches. Take your pick.
Reno	The wind was blowing Jimmy's hair dramatically about him, which probably would be more impressive if it wasn't for the fact that Reno's ponytail was actually dragging along the ice, in serious danger of being cut short by one of Romeo's skate blades. How they actually managed to get Reno upside-down without both of them dying a horrible death, the world may never know. Either way, Jimmy was smiling his best PR smile before flipping back to his feet on the ice. With a very precarious wobble, indeed. The music was swelling, Aerosmith singing his heart out in their heads. The crowd was going wild... It was time... For their big finish!
Romeo	Chazz Michael Michaels was not afraid of much, but he always got a little nervous when the time came for the finale. It was a fear about skate blades that close to his junk. But the crowd would never see it. His smile to them held nothing but blue skies and the promise of gold medals. I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing He took his place on the ice and slid toward his partner, feet-first, as the music crescendoed.
Reno	It was a graceful slide, a magical, magnificent sort of slide, and Jimmy held his breath in anticipation before, like two butterflies mating in the spring, their legs scissored together and they struck their final pose, one leg in the air each, one arm doing much the same, and their crotches pressed against one another. The crowd went wild! Cameras were flashing in the stands! They were a hit! They were loved! They were the best pairs skating team the world had ever known! They were- ... "Oh my freakin' shit." They were in the middle of the ice, crotch-to-crotch, in glitter and spandex and skates. In public.
Romeo	Chazz kept his eyes closed, soaking in the glory, the adulation, the certainty that this was his moment and his comeback and he was sharing it with his brother. ... Then Romeo kept his eyes shut in hopes he would just vanish. It didn't work. "Do you," he asked Reno, as he carefully tried to pry his crotch away from the other man's, "have any idea how to stand up?"
Reno	"Short of waitin' until the ice melts and hopin' we drown?" If Reno kind of dragged himself by his arms for a moment or two, that would work for the crotch-dislodging. Right? Yes. Oh, thank Shiva. "But that'd be, like, nice or somethin', yo. Fandom don't work like that."
Romeo	"Fandom hates us," Romeo decided, shuddering a little at the spangles on his ... unitard. Honestly. Spangles. And a unitard. And he wasn't even thinking about the part where he held Reno's crotch up to his face. He scooted onto his knees. "I will buy you a drink if we ever get off the ice."

[Preplayed with the faaaabulous withoutverona, and open like an open thing!]