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Trooper Station, Saturday

There were some weekends that were more distracting than others. Such as the ones where children arrived all over the town, claiming that various people were their parents.

Unfortunately for Vimes this, as last time it happened, took the form of a baby in his office. Cooing at him.

And chewing on it's hand.

There was a moment of staring at one another before Vimes reached for the intercom. "...Ralph, diaper change."

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Hand chewing was a proud tradition of those under a year old. Vimes would simply have to get used to it.

Especially with Sam Jr. staring at him while he did so.

Mei was not as loud or bossy as her sisters, but she was smart and while she hadn't been able to stop herself from tripping into the swirling hole in the air, she did know she wasn't in her back yard anymore.

And when you were lost you had to find a policeman, so she'd wandered around until she'd seen a trooper (who looked sorta like a policeman to a three year old!) heading into this building. Now she was standing in the middle of the room, looking, well, lost.

Vimes glanced up from his paperwork at the kid. Then back at the other kid.

"Ralph," he called with a sigh. After no response, it would seem he was stuck dealing with another child. "Are you lost?"

She nodded, eyes very wide. "I fell through the shiny thing," she declared in her very serious three-year-old voice. Wasn't that helpful?

"Shiny thing," Vimes replied slowly and just as seriously. "We're looking into that, ma'am."

"Do you know where my parents are?" she asked, wibbling just a bit. Asking about it made it kind of real that she was lost.

"Would I know them?" he asked, folding his hands on the desk.

Didn't he? "You're a policeman! I'm s'posed to go to a policeman when I'm lost." Mei wasn't really sure what to do after that. "Momma and papa said! I don't wanna be lost anymore."

"And just what are their names?" Vimes asked. Because this wasn't going to end well. Oh no.

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Melinda marched in after checking where she was at the store, and walked up to the counter to peer up. "I need a police-man. My parents are lost."

He was really going to have to get used to these weekends. "Where did you see them last?"

"Baltimore," Melinda said, standing on tiptoe to look up at the policeman. "Dr. Dana Scully and Mr. Bruce Wayne." She paused. "Can you put out an APB?"

She wasn't totally sure what that was, but she knew when people were missing or there were crimes, that's what you did. Hanging out with her mom made that much clear.

"Do you know what that is?" Vimes replied, rubbing his forehead. Gods save him from precocious children.

Edited 2011-02-12 22:55 (UTC)

"Ummmmm. Maybe? It's like an 'nouncement, like at school? 'Please come to the principal's office,'" Melinda parroted. "Only bigger? I think. Like for the city?" She hopped up and down a little. "Can you do it now?"

"I can call them first," Vimes relpied calmly. "Do you know their number?"

"In Baltimore it's 1-410-555-6789," Melinda rattled off. "And in Gotham City it's 1-222-412-3121." She took a breath. "And there's another number for 'mergencies but I'm not supposed to use that unless there's evil clowns."

"I'll keep an eye out for clowns," Vimes assured her, waving for Ralph to give those numbers a call. There was no need to add 'evil' to clowns as those poor men were so dead inside they needn't be demonized more.

Oh yeah, he'd been by the Fool's Guild.

"Until then, you can stay here."

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In case Vimes hadn't had his fill of precocious children, another one trooped into his office. "Excuse me!" she called, knocking on the wood of the desk with one tiny iron fist. "I need some help, please!"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Her parents had stressed 'politeness' and 'policemen' enough. Patience, sadly, had lost that race.

Ah, this was more like it for kids. "Lost your parents," Vimes guessed. "And want me to find them for you."

"Well, I'm s'posed to stay with a policeman until they come and get me," Bobina pointed out. "So if you don't find them for me, I'm gonna have to stay with you. Maybe forever."

And nobody wanted that.

"Do they lose you a lot?"

Bobina shook her head. "Nope! This is the first time." She folded her iron hands in front of her and waited for Vimes to get on with the parent finding. "But Mom's a Queen and Dad's a--an accountant--" She'd nearly messed up and said superhero, oops! "--so I get reminded 'bout this a lot."

"Right," Vimes replied, not batting an eye at that. "And their names are?"

Accountant... not a bad job. Queen, on the other hand...

"Lady Karla, Territory Queen of Glacia, and her Consort Prince Robert," Bobina answered promptly.

That was helpful, yes!

Totally helpful! Because that meant her mother was the one in the catsuit. What was up with that little group and their children? Really now.

"Lady and a queen," Vimes replied like he was very impressed. Oh so very. Except, you know, not. "Don't two titles cancel each other out?"

Vimes.

"Have a seat next to the crib then. I'll give your mother a call (http://glacial-witch.livejournal.com/711.html?thread=2854343#t2854343)."

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