"Seriously?" Duke muttered, looking at the sign on the door. "They really stuck with that name, huh?"

He shook his head and headed in.

"Right," he said, once any students who were actually going to show up had shown up. "Let's get started, I guess. Hi, I'm Duke Crocker. In case you didn't already know that. I run the diner in town and occasionally get press-ganged into teaching by a moose. Apparently this time around it decided I knew how to instruct you lovely people on how to clean up after the island's wackiness, which -- I dunno, seems kind of rude, but sure. I have had to clean out my own pipes after all the tap water decides to turn to some sugary mess, so I guess I'm qualified."

He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "Okay. So . . . first week, means introductions, right? Name, some . . . general biographical detail you want to share with the class, and . . . I dunno, what do you want to learn about? I am very open to suggestions." He pointed to a student. "You. Start us out."