Nina (
bookbeltof_love) wrote in
fandomtownies2020-11-17 10:49 am
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Entry tags:
The Bookbelt | Tuesday
We're the youngest generation of Prices. …You'd be the next generation…
Nina had done a pretty good job bothering Duke on Sunday and losing herself in flying and attempts at picking locks (she could manage basic ones as a pony—it was a victory that only she really cared about) and then on Monday she'd thrown herself headlong into moping about the lack of wings.
(Which, being clear, was a huge tragedy.)
But by the time Tuesday rolled around, Miss Verity's words, which had stuck and lingered and rolled around in the back of her head had left her sleepless and anxious in ways she wasn't quite sure how to face head on.
That was how she wound up at her shop, before the wee hours of the morning really got going, well before dawn.
Like.
She'd been an orphan. Then she'd gotten herself adopted. She loved Prompto fiercely, wildly, unreasonably (anything that hurt him was going to get a bookbelt to the face and she didn't know if he realized just what that meant) but…
But…
Somewhere along the line, Liam's fake-dadness had become… less and less fake until she was pretty sure that it was only fake now because how could you adopt someone already adopted and because… well… once you said those words, and meant them, how could you come back from it?
Nina was… pretty sure he was her dad. Like, her actual dad. The one that came running when she was scared and who cheered her on when she had a brilliant idea and who smiled just because she, like, existed. And that was wildly frightening to her, something she teetered over a precipice of, because what if he changed his mind? What if she did? What if it—
Wasn't real?
Better to not say and just love and hope and twist herself into knots about it because she wanted him to be her dad but she didn't want to lose Prompto and wasn't it selfish to want both? Wasn't it being unbearably, impossibly greedy?
Then, Miss Verity just cutting through all the complications with her easy acceptance of the fact that, somehow, someway, she was family.
You'd be the next generation.
And, sure, they'd been talking about ghosts and loopholes and…
"Aunt Mary," she said, trying out how it sounded, said aloud. It sounded pretty nice. It wasn't scary to say since, like, people called people Aunts and Uncles all the time that they weren't related to. It was fine.
"Dad." That sounded nicer, though her cheeks flamed at saying it, embarrassed even though no one was there to hear her.
"Mom?" That one was uncertain, suiting the way she felt about it. She really didn't know Miss Verity that well. Miss Verity hadn't, didn't, belong to that title, aside from as a person adjacent to Liam and that… well… that wasn't enough.
She already had one adoptive mother where it was transactional, and she didn't think Miss Verity would like her calling her mom—unless Nina meant it. (Or if they were undercover, but that was different. The same rules didn't apply.)
But it was fun to imagine, in the quiet empty hours as she cleaned and thought and wondered.
By the time the shop was open, the place was sparkling clean and Nina was reading in one of the squashy, comfortable chairs at the front.
I love you, she texted Prompto, five minutes before she knew his alarm was supposed to go off. She didn't know if he'd answer. He was so busy these days, but she hoped it made him smile anyway.
Then she went back to her tea and her books and the ghosts of thoughts that plagued her.
The Bookbelt is Open.
[That Nina was at the shop early and cleaning is FB, what she was saying is NFB, please!]
Nina had done a pretty good job bothering Duke on Sunday and losing herself in flying and attempts at picking locks (she could manage basic ones as a pony—it was a victory that only she really cared about) and then on Monday she'd thrown herself headlong into moping about the lack of wings.
(Which, being clear, was a huge tragedy.)
But by the time Tuesday rolled around, Miss Verity's words, which had stuck and lingered and rolled around in the back of her head had left her sleepless and anxious in ways she wasn't quite sure how to face head on.
That was how she wound up at her shop, before the wee hours of the morning really got going, well before dawn.
Like.
She'd been an orphan. Then she'd gotten herself adopted. She loved Prompto fiercely, wildly, unreasonably (anything that hurt him was going to get a bookbelt to the face and she didn't know if he realized just what that meant) but…
But…
Somewhere along the line, Liam's fake-dadness had become… less and less fake until she was pretty sure that it was only fake now because how could you adopt someone already adopted and because… well… once you said those words, and meant them, how could you come back from it?
Nina was… pretty sure he was her dad. Like, her actual dad. The one that came running when she was scared and who cheered her on when she had a brilliant idea and who smiled just because she, like, existed. And that was wildly frightening to her, something she teetered over a precipice of, because what if he changed his mind? What if she did? What if it—
Wasn't real?
Better to not say and just love and hope and twist herself into knots about it because she wanted him to be her dad but she didn't want to lose Prompto and wasn't it selfish to want both? Wasn't it being unbearably, impossibly greedy?
Then, Miss Verity just cutting through all the complications with her easy acceptance of the fact that, somehow, someway, she was family.
You'd be the next generation.
And, sure, they'd been talking about ghosts and loopholes and…
"Aunt Mary," she said, trying out how it sounded, said aloud. It sounded pretty nice. It wasn't scary to say since, like, people called people Aunts and Uncles all the time that they weren't related to. It was fine.
"Dad." That sounded nicer, though her cheeks flamed at saying it, embarrassed even though no one was there to hear her.
"Mom?" That one was uncertain, suiting the way she felt about it. She really didn't know Miss Verity that well. Miss Verity hadn't, didn't, belong to that title, aside from as a person adjacent to Liam and that… well… that wasn't enough.
She already had one adoptive mother where it was transactional, and she didn't think Miss Verity would like her calling her mom—unless Nina meant it. (Or if they were undercover, but that was different. The same rules didn't apply.)
But it was fun to imagine, in the quiet empty hours as she cleaned and thought and wondered.
By the time the shop was open, the place was sparkling clean and Nina was reading in one of the squashy, comfortable chairs at the front.
I love you, she texted Prompto, five minutes before she knew his alarm was supposed to go off. She didn't know if he'd answer. He was so busy these days, but she hoped it made him smile anyway.
Then she went back to her tea and her books and the ghosts of thoughts that plagued her.
The Bookbelt is Open.
[That Nina was at the shop early and cleaning is FB, what she was saying is NFB, please!]
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Probably not a good idea to point out that that meant she was just as capable of unchoosing him, too, right now. And he could definitely use that Ebony right now. Maybe something harder.
There was, at least, cereal, which he was taking a bite out of so his mouth could only do chewing while he figured out what he mouth could be doing once it could say something.
"I know that," he managed, a bit muffled from the cereal still in his mouth. "I was just saying, it sounds like you had a good time. And that it all just sounds...you know...nice."
He swallowed the cereal (and a sigh) and leaned his back on the counter.
"I know that kind of stuff is really important to you. And, you know, you deserve it. And..." He hesitated, feeling a little bad about this maybe being an attempt to sway the attention off himself, but that didn't make it any less true or an important observation, "that it's probably freaking you out a little, too."
NOT THAT HE COULD RELATE OR ANYTHING.
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Nina judged him hard all through that bit of the conversation. If only because it was something small to focus on.
Also, this was why they didn't do serious talks very often.
"It was terrifying," Nina admitted. "If any of the family Miss Verity had been talking about had popped out of the woodwork then and there, I'd have bolted."
She was still kind of considering bolting. Nina had spent more time than she was willing to admit, even to Prompto, studying the requirements to transfer high schools mid-year.
"And... and you're way more important to me than a bunch of people I've never met," she said, closing her eyes. "So, like, if I'm family, then you are too."
Could she declare that? She was declaring that.
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But none of that really mattered, either, because he couldn't exactly stop the strangled little scoff of a laugh that slipped out of him at the last thing she said. But at least that sound managed to distract him from the fact that while Verity's family might be people she'd never met before, Verity and Liam very much were people she'd met and were important to her.
Like he didn't have enough issues flailing about people he knew reluctantly, begrudgingly accepting him, now he had to worry about people not even Nina knew?
And, like, at least when Yang picked her family over hi--
Prompto pinched the bridge of his nose, clamping his eyes down tight for a moment. Great. Now he was starting his day with a total freakout, and that meant that Gladio was going to be all over his ass for messing up, and Noctis was going to keep trying to poke at him about what was wrong, and Ignis was...Ignis would...he didn't know! Point out that his socks didn't match, or something!
He sighed.
"Yeah," he said, just because, right now, that was the easiest, "I know."
It was just a lot. And he was only involved in the most tangential way possible...
...and the last thing he'd want to do would be hold her back.
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She was going to take a moment to text Iris: why are brothers so stupid??????
Because Iris would, like, get it. Even if Nina was going to have to fend off questions about why Prompto was so stupid and then Gladio was going to know she thought Prompto was stupid and then...
"Do you?" she asked suspiciously.
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Meanwhile, in the Argentum house, Prompto was taking another bite of cereal to try and keep him from just uttering out that, yes, in theory, he knew, but in practice...?
"Yes," he finally said, with emphasis, enough that Nina could probably see the rolling of his eyes, "I do." In theory. And knowing something didn't mean you necessarily completely believed it, either. "I don't know why you're getting so worked up about it, all I said was that it just sounds nice."
It wasn't his fault she was a godsdamnned mind reader!
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JUST TRY TO DENY IT, PROMPTO.
"Yes, but...," Nina hesitated. "You said it like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop."
Or maybe she just wanted to believe that.
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And oh, hey, your family sucks, this new shiny one is WAAAAY better was a pretty big shoe!
"And like you said," he added, trying yet again to get away from all of that, "it was terrifying. That's a pretty big shoe. Can't I be worried about you?"
It was his job as her brother! And if he couldn't do his JOB...
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"I mean...
"Is there anything to be worried about?"
Admittedly, now that she was talking to him, she had more to worry about, but...
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Especially since it didn't really matter if there was anything to be worried about. He was going to just be worried anyway.
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"That's the other shoe, Nina," he said. At least, it was the one that mattered. "I'm worried about you. I know how you can get about...stuff like this. And when you get thrown through a loop..."
He tried a faint smile.
"Rare as that is. It's a lot."
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"I haven't said anything to anyone but you yet," she admitted, pulling the throw blanket close about her knees. "I've just been..."
Spinning her wheels.
"Thinking."
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"You need to...do any of that thinking out loud?" Prompto offered, poking at his cereal, giving a glance to the clock. He had time. He'd make time. Even if he was pretty sure a lot of it would be stuff that wasn't going to be easy to hear.
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She was pretty sure he'd hear the slump in her voice.
"I don't know?"
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Everyone else?
Meh. He didn't care about everyone else at that point.
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Even if part of her desperately wanted a hug. From him.
"I might come... come home for a day or two? After work?" Uncertainty made her voice plaintive.
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"It's your home, too, Nina," he reminded her. "You don't need permission."
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"I just..."
Well, she couldn't say she didn't want to bother him. He'd grumble at her and she'd feel guilty and then she'd feel guilty for feeling guilty.
"After work," she said, a little more firmly. Part of her still kind of hoped Liam would come by, but she was scared of the idea of him doing so too. "But that means you can't stay over at Noct's tonight."
Or else Noct would start getting politely worded demands to give her brother back to her.
"Just...," she hesitated a moment longer, then asked, "do you think a family of people can really just accept and love a stranger introduced to them as family? Just like that?"
She couldn't imagine it.
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And he faltered.
"I don't..." he started, cautiously, "I don't really think I'm someone who can really answer that..."
Except...
He hesitated, shifting a little uncomfortably.
"That's kind of how it felt, though, with Yang's family. Especially her dad..."
Now to just soothe that still way-more-open-than-it-should-still-be wound over with some good old classic Prompto Argentum self-depreciation!
"I guess some people'll be willing to take in just about anyone."
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"You're special to me," Nina said quietly. "And I... I want to be special to people too."
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She had people wanting to make her family, for crying out loud. She was practically overflowing with family at this point...
And he was just there. In his empty house again.
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How had they got here in the first place?
"Mostly all I thought at that time was that it seemed like fun to try and steal the weird, mechanical carriage," she admitted.
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