Nina (
bookbeltof_love) wrote in
fandomtownies2020-11-17 10:49 am
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Entry tags:
The Bookbelt | Tuesday
We're the youngest generation of Prices. …You'd be the next generation…
Nina had done a pretty good job bothering Duke on Sunday and losing herself in flying and attempts at picking locks (she could manage basic ones as a pony—it was a victory that only she really cared about) and then on Monday she'd thrown herself headlong into moping about the lack of wings.
(Which, being clear, was a huge tragedy.)
But by the time Tuesday rolled around, Miss Verity's words, which had stuck and lingered and rolled around in the back of her head had left her sleepless and anxious in ways she wasn't quite sure how to face head on.
That was how she wound up at her shop, before the wee hours of the morning really got going, well before dawn.
Like.
She'd been an orphan. Then she'd gotten herself adopted. She loved Prompto fiercely, wildly, unreasonably (anything that hurt him was going to get a bookbelt to the face and she didn't know if he realized just what that meant) but…
But…
Somewhere along the line, Liam's fake-dadness had become… less and less fake until she was pretty sure that it was only fake now because how could you adopt someone already adopted and because… well… once you said those words, and meant them, how could you come back from it?
Nina was… pretty sure he was her dad. Like, her actual dad. The one that came running when she was scared and who cheered her on when she had a brilliant idea and who smiled just because she, like, existed. And that was wildly frightening to her, something she teetered over a precipice of, because what if he changed his mind? What if she did? What if it—
Wasn't real?
Better to not say and just love and hope and twist herself into knots about it because she wanted him to be her dad but she didn't want to lose Prompto and wasn't it selfish to want both? Wasn't it being unbearably, impossibly greedy?
Then, Miss Verity just cutting through all the complications with her easy acceptance of the fact that, somehow, someway, she was family.
You'd be the next generation.
And, sure, they'd been talking about ghosts and loopholes and…
"Aunt Mary," she said, trying out how it sounded, said aloud. It sounded pretty nice. It wasn't scary to say since, like, people called people Aunts and Uncles all the time that they weren't related to. It was fine.
"Dad." That sounded nicer, though her cheeks flamed at saying it, embarrassed even though no one was there to hear her.
"Mom?" That one was uncertain, suiting the way she felt about it. She really didn't know Miss Verity that well. Miss Verity hadn't, didn't, belong to that title, aside from as a person adjacent to Liam and that… well… that wasn't enough.
She already had one adoptive mother where it was transactional, and she didn't think Miss Verity would like her calling her mom—unless Nina meant it. (Or if they were undercover, but that was different. The same rules didn't apply.)
But it was fun to imagine, in the quiet empty hours as she cleaned and thought and wondered.
By the time the shop was open, the place was sparkling clean and Nina was reading in one of the squashy, comfortable chairs at the front.
I love you, she texted Prompto, five minutes before she knew his alarm was supposed to go off. She didn't know if he'd answer. He was so busy these days, but she hoped it made him smile anyway.
Then she went back to her tea and her books and the ghosts of thoughts that plagued her.
The Bookbelt is Open.
[That Nina was at the shop early and cleaning is FB, what she was saying is NFB, please!]
Nina had done a pretty good job bothering Duke on Sunday and losing herself in flying and attempts at picking locks (she could manage basic ones as a pony—it was a victory that only she really cared about) and then on Monday she'd thrown herself headlong into moping about the lack of wings.
(Which, being clear, was a huge tragedy.)
But by the time Tuesday rolled around, Miss Verity's words, which had stuck and lingered and rolled around in the back of her head had left her sleepless and anxious in ways she wasn't quite sure how to face head on.
That was how she wound up at her shop, before the wee hours of the morning really got going, well before dawn.
Like.
She'd been an orphan. Then she'd gotten herself adopted. She loved Prompto fiercely, wildly, unreasonably (anything that hurt him was going to get a bookbelt to the face and she didn't know if he realized just what that meant) but…
But…
Somewhere along the line, Liam's fake-dadness had become… less and less fake until she was pretty sure that it was only fake now because how could you adopt someone already adopted and because… well… once you said those words, and meant them, how could you come back from it?
Nina was… pretty sure he was her dad. Like, her actual dad. The one that came running when she was scared and who cheered her on when she had a brilliant idea and who smiled just because she, like, existed. And that was wildly frightening to her, something she teetered over a precipice of, because what if he changed his mind? What if she did? What if it—
Wasn't real?
Better to not say and just love and hope and twist herself into knots about it because she wanted him to be her dad but she didn't want to lose Prompto and wasn't it selfish to want both? Wasn't it being unbearably, impossibly greedy?
Then, Miss Verity just cutting through all the complications with her easy acceptance of the fact that, somehow, someway, she was family.
You'd be the next generation.
And, sure, they'd been talking about ghosts and loopholes and…
"Aunt Mary," she said, trying out how it sounded, said aloud. It sounded pretty nice. It wasn't scary to say since, like, people called people Aunts and Uncles all the time that they weren't related to. It was fine.
"Dad." That sounded nicer, though her cheeks flamed at saying it, embarrassed even though no one was there to hear her.
"Mom?" That one was uncertain, suiting the way she felt about it. She really didn't know Miss Verity that well. Miss Verity hadn't, didn't, belong to that title, aside from as a person adjacent to Liam and that… well… that wasn't enough.
She already had one adoptive mother where it was transactional, and she didn't think Miss Verity would like her calling her mom—unless Nina meant it. (Or if they were undercover, but that was different. The same rules didn't apply.)
But it was fun to imagine, in the quiet empty hours as she cleaned and thought and wondered.
By the time the shop was open, the place was sparkling clean and Nina was reading in one of the squashy, comfortable chairs at the front.
I love you, she texted Prompto, five minutes before she knew his alarm was supposed to go off. She didn't know if he'd answer. He was so busy these days, but she hoped it made him smile anyway.
Then she went back to her tea and her books and the ghosts of thoughts that plagued her.
The Bookbelt is Open.
[That Nina was at the shop early and cleaning is FB, what she was saying is NFB, please!]
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It was deeply transparent and she didn't even care.
"I liked it, in Muse," she admitted, which was an understatement.
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Nina slumped back in her chair. "It's just, like, in Muse......... it was simpler."
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“Because it was the two of us, and everybody else?” Liam guessed.
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Gods, but why was this so hard to put into words. She loved words.
"It was simple," Nina repeated, a little frustrated.
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"I thought it could be," she admitted. "Um, like, in my diary you've been 'Dad' since Muse."
Not that anyone ever was going to get to read any of her diaries but she'd been... trying it out.
"And, like, when it's just us, it's great. But... but between Miss Verity," and there was so much space between 'Miss Verity' and 'Dad', that it felt unreal to be a Price of any stripe, "saying that the whole family would have to meet me and... Prompto's reaction..."
She didn't know. She hadn't known even before talking to Prompto. She'd called that reaction.
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“He won’t be,” he said firmly. “He can’t be. People like you and I, who weren’t born into anything resembling a family... the good thing about that is we get to choose ours. And you and I choosing each other doesn’t invalidate the fact that you and Prompto did too.”
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"I think, I think," and it was the reason she was going home for a few days, "that he thinks that I can unchoose him too. But, with him, there is legal documents to back up my choice... and I'm not going to unmake it."
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Honestly, he’d been thinking for a while about getting in contact with Prompto himself for a while now, a chance to get to know him better outside of their shared habit of worrying about Nina.
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Nina still looked troubled. Tired.
"Do you think Miss Verity's family would really see me as family?" she asked.
She didn't understand. They didn't know her. They'd never met her. Was family really something where, just because you were important to one of them, you were important to all of them?
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Couldn't this one thing be easy?
Nina scoffed but chose not to pursue the fact that she was hardly going to be important to a bunch of strangers for herself.
"But what about my brother?" she asked, changing the direction of her questions a little.
In this, she almost, almost preferred her and Prompto's parents. Sure, they weren't very good at parenting (in fact, they were terrible at it) but the fact that she was their adopted daughter was easy to wrap her head around when it was purely and entirely transactional and both she and they knew what to expect.
Nina had an excellent working relationship with her adoptive parents.
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“Same thing,” Liam said. “I care about him because you do. And I also- well. I want to get to know him beyond just ‘Nina’s brother’, and everything I know about Verity’s family says they’d feel the same way.” Family both was and wasn’t easy, as Liam was discovering.
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But Nina had something more important to focus on.
"You do?" she asked, sounding a bit… delighted.
Verity's family? What Verity's family?
Her Dad wanted to get on better with her brother!
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It had been- ‘reassuring’ wasn’t really the word, but knowing that someone else was worrying about Nina just as much as he’d been, over the summer? It had helped, a tiny bit. And so yeah. He wanted, needed, really, to get to know Prompto better.
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Even when she was trying, Nina was a firm believer of begging for forgiveness rather than ask for permission.
"Oh," she said, then smiled at him, genuinely. Not a great, beaming smile but something softer, sweeter. "He'll like that."
She did too.
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Nina was decidedly not the only Argentum who could tie themselves in knots.
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She mostly appreciated it!
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